I appointed myself the president the Parking Lot Experiments Fan(art) Club

Hi Don,
Long time no chat. I'm sorry about that. I've just been really busy filming for the comedy series Community, doing press stuff for Mystery Team, working on my comedy routine and making music as Childish Gambino. Anyway, I know all you do is just sit around and blog about how much you'd like to know me and I thought you would like some music to listen to. The Parking Lot Experiments are realgreat. They sound exactly like Missy Elliot, if Missy Elliot sounded like The Parking Lot Experiments.
www.myspace.com/theparkinglotexperiments

28th November, 2009: Domingo Explosione take two

27th November, 2009: Childhood Imagination Protection Agency (C.I.P.A.)

26th November, 2009: The shirt says it all, really.

25th November, 2009: Roller Debbie

24th November, 2009: It was my birthday. It was a shitday.

23rd November, 2009: ...yeah.

22nd November, 2009: A fellow to drink fine Scotch with.

20th November, 2009: Skate Brittannia

19th November, 2009: Tuff Birth

18th November, 2009: Tuff Ghost's Imagineer Squad

17th November, 2009: Self-portrait if I had three quarters of a little man for my right hand

16th November, 2009: Domingo Explosione

15th November, 2009: Professional Cartoon Sidekick

14th November, 2009: A logo for some Mexican thing, maybe

FRIDAY the 13th November, 2009: Q. Carde

12th November, 2009: Who the heck is Zoe Steers?

11th November, 2009: Vile Bile 3000 (inbrackets:from space:endbrackets)

10th November, 2009: Hi, my name is God.

9th November, 2009: The Burglars Two

How was your day?

Dearest, Donathy Glover.
I can already tell that we are nearly best friends because, just like real best friends, we don't need to talk to each other every day.

I drew a picture of a dog today, Don.
It was wack.

8th November, 2009: THE AMAZING AMAZO

7th November, 2009: Something to do with free slurpee day

I'm not sure (because I haven't seen it) but I heard this guy is the final boss that Nicholas Cage has to beat in National Treasure.

-Also, check out the cool sleeves cut off a suit look. Very summer.

6th November, 2009: What do I know that you don't, dude?

5th November, 2009: all Tuff Ghosts go to heaven...

4th November, 2009: El Spanish Death-O

KKK (all three of the K's stand for Komedy)

Don, do you like riddles?
Presumably yes?
EXCELLENT!

Don, What's black and white at the same time?
Answer: you.

"How am I both black and white, Murray?" You are probably saying in a comically angry way. I imagine that you are taking really long breaks between each word, in efforts to increase the hilarity. Don't get comically angry, Don! It was a compliment! A possibly racist compliment.

See, whilst I have a list of comedians that I strongly dislike, I find an unusual proportion of these despised comics are of African-American descent. I don't have anything against the Blackenese people, Don, really, I don't. Well, maybe there is some subconscious fear of them as 'the other'... I have noticed that I get an eensy bit racist when overly tired...
Oh, shit. Ummmm. I'm not racist.
Anyway, the point is more that I just don't find the stand-up material of your Chris Rocks, Eddie Murphys and OJ Simpsons all that funny. I have thought that maybe I just can't grasp the comedy of these supposedly funnymen (pronounced phunni-mn) is because the comedian and I came from drastically different backgrounds.

IN EXAMPLE:
-Eddie Murphy often reflects on his hard life livin' in THE PROJECTS. When I was a kid I made a boat out of a milk carton for a CLASS PROJECT.

-Chris Rock grew up listening to the very birth of a new and exciting art form in rap music. I grew up in a time period in which rap music seemed to have died years ago, but continued to walk the halls like the most convincing extra in a Romero film.

-OJ Simpson kills bitches. I don't often do that.

But you, Don (also Dave Chapelle if you are reading this), I feel comfortable laughing with/at depending on the type of character you are portraying. Something about you just seems so accesible, clean and, dare I say it, superior. Donald, You seem white.

DISCLAIMER:
Don, I was totally kidding with the "superior" and "clean" and all that business. This would all work so much better if I was a hot girl like that Sarah Silverman.


Did you notice that if you separate Sarah's surname into two bits and create Silver Man you can work off that very simple idea and create an ongoing comic book series about a superhero that has the ability to turn things into silver?
I noticed, Don. I noticed.

3rd November, 2009: Albino alien tranny sheriff

FAQ MY LIFE

Hi, if you are reading this it means you are one of two people; Don Glover or one of the people that aren't Don Glover. If you aren't Don Glover, why are you here? There isn't anything for you here, not a crumb. Shew.

Wow, can you believe the audacity of some people, Don? Oh, is it okay if I call you Don, Don? I feel like I'm pressuring you into interaction by calling you by a name that you aren't comfortable with. Honestly, I'm okay with that. I'm going to chat with you even if I have to make a spectacle of myself to do so.

What's that, Don?
Am I really interested in attracting your attention or attracting the attention that attracting your attention would, err, attract? Good question. At this moment there is no definite answer, ask again in a few months when you sue me for stalking you or some BS. What? You can't sue someone for stalking? Sorry I never went to lawyer training place, Don!

Did you notice that the three paragraphs above went up by one line each paragraph, except for the last paragraph which went up by two, Don?
I noticed, Don. I noticed.

I'm getting distracted here.

I created this blog for one reason: to impress you, Don. You are by far the best guy that there is, well, if you ignore Bill Murray and maybe twenty other dudes. But I like you at the moment, Don. Why do I like you at the moment? Because as well as being very funny you also rap. But please pay attention when I say this; If Bill Murray ever learns how to rap I will incinerate every element of your existence on Earth. I will do so because I hope it will eliminate from my mind the memories of a time in which Bill Murray was not the universal standard of awesome.

Did you notice that in the movie Nightmare Before Christmas the character of Jack Skellington had a different voice actor for his singing voice?
I noticed, Don. I noticed.

Don't be scared, Donavon. Don't pick up that pitchfork either (Why do you even have a pitchfork? You live in New York!). I'm not here to hurt you. Whilst the idea of flaying you alive, wearing your skin and eating your heart to gain your powers has crossed my mind, I have decided against it. As how could we be buddies when you have no skin? We would be out strolling the park and you'd be all "Shit, man! No skin really fucking hurts." I'd tell you to calm down and then pull out a cigar from the inner left breast pocket of my tuxedo jacket made from aforementioned skin.
So what's wrong with that scenario?
Answer: I don't like cigars.
And in that alternate universe, wherein I do meet and flay you like dieting people and chicken skin, I can't imagine myself not smoking cigars.

Did you notice how smoking is linked to cancer?
I noticed, Don. I noticed.

So I'm starting this blog, not in an effort to meet and flay you, more just in an effort to meet you and shake your hand and watch sports with you and be that loser that gets to hang out with one radical dude. You be the rad dude, DonDon.

Also, I just really wanted to start up a blog separate from www.upsetelephant.blogspot.com in which I can just draw and publish those weird little characters that I love drawing.

Did you notice how I love drawing weird little characters?
I noticed, Don. I noticed.

That's kind of the reason why, whilst this blog is titled IMPRESS DON GLOVER BLOG, the URL is www.tuffghostzoo.blogspot.com
So that if you and your lawyer guys (presumably having finished top of the class in a fancy night school for lawyers) do say "Nah, man. You can't use my name like this." I can just switch it over to being the Tuff Ghost Zoo for my weird little characters, instead of having to shut down the page altogether.

YO YEPPITTY YO YO
AND IT'S A RAP/WRAP!