FAQ MY LIFE

Hi, if you are reading this it means you are one of two people; Don Glover or one of the people that aren't Don Glover. If you aren't Don Glover, why are you here? There isn't anything for you here, not a crumb. Shew.

Wow, can you believe the audacity of some people, Don? Oh, is it okay if I call you Don, Don? I feel like I'm pressuring you into interaction by calling you by a name that you aren't comfortable with. Honestly, I'm okay with that. I'm going to chat with you even if I have to make a spectacle of myself to do so.

What's that, Don?
Am I really interested in attracting your attention or attracting the attention that attracting your attention would, err, attract? Good question. At this moment there is no definite answer, ask again in a few months when you sue me for stalking you or some BS. What? You can't sue someone for stalking? Sorry I never went to lawyer training place, Don!

Did you notice that the three paragraphs above went up by one line each paragraph, except for the last paragraph which went up by two, Don?
I noticed, Don. I noticed.

I'm getting distracted here.

I created this blog for one reason: to impress you, Don. You are by far the best guy that there is, well, if you ignore Bill Murray and maybe twenty other dudes. But I like you at the moment, Don. Why do I like you at the moment? Because as well as being very funny you also rap. But please pay attention when I say this; If Bill Murray ever learns how to rap I will incinerate every element of your existence on Earth. I will do so because I hope it will eliminate from my mind the memories of a time in which Bill Murray was not the universal standard of awesome.

Did you notice that in the movie Nightmare Before Christmas the character of Jack Skellington had a different voice actor for his singing voice?
I noticed, Don. I noticed.

Don't be scared, Donavon. Don't pick up that pitchfork either (Why do you even have a pitchfork? You live in New York!). I'm not here to hurt you. Whilst the idea of flaying you alive, wearing your skin and eating your heart to gain your powers has crossed my mind, I have decided against it. As how could we be buddies when you have no skin? We would be out strolling the park and you'd be all "Shit, man! No skin really fucking hurts." I'd tell you to calm down and then pull out a cigar from the inner left breast pocket of my tuxedo jacket made from aforementioned skin.
So what's wrong with that scenario?
Answer: I don't like cigars.
And in that alternate universe, wherein I do meet and flay you like dieting people and chicken skin, I can't imagine myself not smoking cigars.

Did you notice how smoking is linked to cancer?
I noticed, Don. I noticed.

So I'm starting this blog, not in an effort to meet and flay you, more just in an effort to meet you and shake your hand and watch sports with you and be that loser that gets to hang out with one radical dude. You be the rad dude, DonDon.

Also, I just really wanted to start up a blog separate from www.upsetelephant.blogspot.com in which I can just draw and publish those weird little characters that I love drawing.

Did you notice how I love drawing weird little characters?
I noticed, Don. I noticed.

That's kind of the reason why, whilst this blog is titled IMPRESS DON GLOVER BLOG, the URL is www.tuffghostzoo.blogspot.com
So that if you and your lawyer guys (presumably having finished top of the class in a fancy night school for lawyers) do say "Nah, man. You can't use my name like this." I can just switch it over to being the Tuff Ghost Zoo for my weird little characters, instead of having to shut down the page altogether.

YO YEPPITTY YO YO
AND IT'S A RAP/WRAP!